McMillan’s "The person you really need to marry" provides the philosophical foundation for this guide—marrying yourself first.

McMillan argues that many women use defensiveness or anger as a shield.

Acknowledge that joining lives is a high-magnitude decision that requires actual readiness to compromise, not just a desire for a wedding day. Recommended Resources

Marriage is about giving. You must be willing to "go first" in showing care and support without immediate reciprocation.

Many approach dating by asking, "What can this person do for me?".

Focus on what you need (character, reliability, kindness) rather than what you think you should have.

Communicate directly. If you feel the need to retaliate for perceived slights, you are acting out of fear rather than love.

Behaviors like guilt-tripping or "teaching him a lesson" destroy trust.